I wish I could say NO WAY!
Can’t.
When I shared a recent chapter with my critique partners, one of them questioned this sentence, “He found himself in deep water.”
Not understanding that my POV character’s internal thought meant he found himself in trouble, she thought I had put him in a swimming pool and forgot to put that detail on the page.
Frequently what’s playing in my head fails to come across on the page in early drafts. Thank heaven for CPs who call me when that happens.
Not this time, though. This time I was using Texas talk.
She’d never heard the expression “in deep water” used that way. Her stumbling over the phrase led to a discussion of colloquial language and how words, phrases, and even clichés vary from one geographical area to another.
In Texas, we have a whole slew of vocabulary that has folks scratching their heads. I just used one—slew, meaning a whole bunch. We’re always y’all-ing and gonna and fixin’ when we talk. Non-Texans do sometimes need an interpreter.
Some more phrases:
come hell or high water – proceeding, regardless of the problems, obstacles, etc.
conniptions – get upset and raise a ruckus
hissy fit – kin to a conniption a state of extreme agitation and not a pretty thing to see
hot as tin toilet seat – in Texas we know that’s HOT
screaming bloody murder or banshee scream – not a pleasant sound at all
bone tired – yep, been there
slow as molasses – visualize black syrup oozing out of the jar
keep your pants on – meaning not what you think, but to be patient!
When I’m being lazy with my writing or rushing, Texas terms and phrases naturally flow into my first drafts.
I also have favorite words that pop up. Words like: had, that, could, was, felt, knew, thought, saw, walked, come. Margie Lawson calls these “weasel words.”
I learned in Margie’s deep editing class, The EDITS System, to keep a WEASEL WORD CHART listing colloquial phrases, overused word, throw-away words, clichés, and opinion words.
Unfortunately, my chart populates too easily. I’m my own worst copy editor. that’s why I always pay a professional before my books are published. The words I overuse stand out like sore thumbs to others. (Sorry, Margie had to use a cliché to prove my point.)
During the revision stages, the chart helps eliminate such weasel words and phrases using my word processor’s search and replace function.
BUT characterization can need slang and colloquial regional dialogue. Texan talk has a function if the protagonist is a Texan or the setting is Texas.
Are you working on a Texas setting or character? Here’s a great resource: http://www.rice.edu/armadillo/Texas/talk.html
Other times, overuse in novel narrative becomes a stumbling block, pulling readers from the story.
When that happens, the reader does what no writer wants a reader to do—QUITS reading!
If colloquialisms are your writer’s voice, I caution you to be sure your reader can understand what you’re saying. Always remember what I learned in a Susan Wiggs workshop.
In the battle of words, the story reigns.
Our word choices should always move the story forward.
In case you’re wondering what I did about my CP’s question, I decided the reader could discern the meaning from the rest of the scene and left the phrase “deep water” in the manuscript.
How about you…
Do colloquialisms, local slang and weasel words slip into your novels?
Are you guilty of using expressions you grew up with that might confuse a reader? Care to share some and explain their local meaning?
