writing

17 09, 2012

Texas talk, colloquialisms, and weasel words – in my writing?

By |2012-09-17T10:53:11-05:00September 17th, 2012|Writing Craft|12 Comments

I wish I could say NO WAY!

Can’t.

When I shared a recent chapter with my critique partners, one of them questioned this sentence, “He found himself in deep water.”

  Not understanding that my POV character’s internal thought meant he found himself in trouble, she thought I had put him in a swimming pool and forgot to put that detail on the page.

Frequently what’s playing in my head fails to come across on the page in early drafts. Thank heaven for CPs who call me when that happens.

Not this time, though. This time I was using Texas talk.

She’d never heard the expression “in deep water” used that way. Her stumbling over the phrase led to a discussion of colloquial language and how words, phrases, and even clichés vary from one geographical area to another.

In Texas, we have a whole slew of vocabulary that has folks scratching their heads. I just used one—slew, meaning a whole bunch. We’re always y’all-ing and gonna and fixin’ when we talk. Non-Texans do sometimes need an interpreter.

 Some more phrases:

come hell or high waterproceeding, regardless of the problems, obstacles, etc.

conniptionsget upset and raise a ruckus

hissy fit – kin to a conniption a state of extreme agitation and not a pretty thing to see

hot as tin toilet seat – in Texas we know that’s HOT

screaming bloody murder or banshee scream – not a pleasant sound at all

bone tired – yep, been there

slow as molasses – visualize black syrup oozing out of the jar

keep your pants on – meaning not what you think, but to be patient!

When I’m being lazy with my writing or rushing, Texas terms and phrases naturally flow into my first drafts. 

I also have favorite words that pop up. Words like: had, that, could, was, felt, knew, thought, saw, walked, come. Margie Lawson  calls these “weasel words.”

 I learned in Margie’s deep editing class, The EDITS System, to keep a WEASEL WORD CHART listing colloquial phrases, overused word, throw-away words, clichés, and opinion words.

 Unfortunately, my chart populates too easily. I’m my own worst copy editor. that’s why I always pay a professional before my books are published. The words I overuse stand out like sore thumbs to others.  (Sorry, Margie had to use a cliché to prove my point.)

 During the revision stages, the chart helps eliminate such weasel words and phrases using my word processor’s search and replace function.  

BUT characterization can need slang and colloquial regional dialogue. Texan talk has a function if the protagonist is a Texan or the setting is Texas.

Are you working on a Texas setting or character? Here’s a great resource: http://www.rice.edu/armadillo/Texas/talk.html

Other times, overuse in novel narrative becomes a stumbling block, pulling readers from the story.

 When that happens, the reader does what no writer wants a reader to do—QUITS reading!

 If colloquialisms are your writer’s voice, I caution you to be sure your reader can understand what you’re saying. Always remember what I learned in a Susan Wiggs workshop.

In the battle of words, the story reigns.

 Our word choices should always move the story forward.

In case you’re wondering what I did about my CP’s question, I decided the reader could discern the meaning from the rest of the scene and left the phrase “deep water” in the manuscript.

 How about you…

Do colloquialisms, local slang and weasel words slip into your novels?

Are you guilty of using expressions you grew up with that might confuse a reader? Care to share some and explain their local meaning?

14 09, 2012

Acrobatic Chicken ends up in Miller “Chicken Infirmary”

By |2012-09-14T08:00:11-05:00September 14th, 2012|Friday on the Miller Farm, Miller Farm Friday|1 Comment

Anthropomorphism is a literary technique in which  human characteristics (or characteristics assumed to belong only to humans) are assigned to other animals, non-living things, phenomena, material states, objects or abstract concepts, such as organizations, governments, spirits or deities. (I’m quoting Wikipedia.)

The word has been around since the 1700s.

In this depiction of  Aesop’s fable, The North Wind and the Sun, North Wind tries to strip a traveler of his cloak. Picture source: Wikimedia Commons.

The White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderlfand is another example.

Not being  a literary writer, I don’t use the technique much, but I’ve often been accused of anthropomorphizing my dogs and other non-living things.

Doesn’t every one name their vehicle or their vaccum cleaner? Well, you should!

That’s why I understand completely when Chicken Wrangler Sara treats her chickens like they’re human, which is what happened when one of her hens named Butterscotch got herself into a bad situation.

Here’s the story from Chicken Wrangler Sara’s email. Additional comments not italicized are mine.

Our chicken feeder is suspended from the ceiling of the coop with a wire the size of a coat hanger. This morning, when I went to let the chickens out, one of them was hanging by one toe from the wire above the feeder.

The VILLIAN feeder.

One interesting thing about chickens is that if you hold them upside down by their feet, they get very calm. (Don’t ask how I know this.) 

So the poor chicken, named Butterscotch, was incredibly calm. Now if I had been hanging upside down by my toe all night, I definitely would not be calm. This is just another difference between humans and chickens.

Anyway, I had to work hard to get her toe unstuck all the while explaining to her that chickens are not acrobats.  

(Like the chicken was listening. More likely a little anthropomorphizing going on! LOL)

I ended up untwisting the wire which immediately freed Butterscotch’s foot. I carefully carried her out of the coop and set her by the water thinking she might be thirsty as are most of the chickens in the mornings.

So are the bees who share space at the Miller Farm with the chickens, making an interesting scene at the water cooler every morning.

(A bee blog for Miller Farm Friday is in the works. That’s really anthropomorphizing when you attribute human characteristics to things that can really, really hurt you!)

Butterscotch didn’t drink but hobbled to the front of the yard and sat down. I went on with the morning chicken chores, keeping an eye on her.

When I had finished, I picked her up to examine the injured toe. It had begun to bleed and was getting caked with dirt. I’m no vet, but I am a mom and I know that open sores and dirt are not a good combination.

Notice the toe at the top is missing its nail. but, thanks to human care, not the whole toe.

So I carried Butterscotch up to the garage where we keep the betadine and poured some on her foot.

Then I gently washed it off with the hose and decided she needed to go to the chicken infirmary for observation. So I hollered for Catherine (her oldest daughter) to bring me a rag towel and laid it down in a laundry basket. Then I gently lowered Butterscotch into the basket and put a small waterer in with her.

I went back in the house but soon realized that if she happened to get out of the basket, her toe would be the least of her problems.  The dogs would love to “play” with her.

Especially Bella. Remember she’s the farm daschund who is always watching and waiting for a chicken to get free. And trust me she’s not thinking about anthropomorphizing that chicken.

So I put another laundry basket on top and behold a “chicken infirmary.” 

Butterscotch rested comfortably all morning and after a consultation with the resident chicken vet, Rachel, Butterscotch returned to the chicken yard.

She immediately started pecking at the ground for food then ran to where all the other chickens were pecking to see if they had found something more appetizing.

At last sighting, she was limping slightly but seemed to be glad to be “home.”  I made her promise not to do any more acrobatics, and Chicken Vet Rachel  decided to wash her foot every morning to prevent infection.

Butterscotch strutting her stuff.

YOUR TURN: Are you guilty of anthropomorphizing either your pets or using the technique in your writing?

13 08, 2012

Wit and Wisdom from Writers to Jump Start your week

By |2023-08-19T14:55:48-05:00August 13th, 2012|Uncategorized|4 Comments

This month’s guest speaker at my local RWA chapter was Adrienne deWolfe.

Being in on vacation, I wasn’t able to hear her program, but I did check out her website and found a wealth of helpful resources. You might want to do some checking yourself.

I also discovered this delightful video Ms deWolfe created which inspired me to get my butt in the chair and WRITE. I’m sharing so you can start your week with Wit and Wisdom from writers, too.

Okay, so did the author inspire you to write?

23 07, 2012

BS aka Backstory – Part 2

By |2012-07-23T07:00:05-05:00July 23rd, 2012|Uncategorized|2 Comments

Last week I blogged about scattering smidgens of backstory throughout a story. I received an email from a reader who wanted further explanation about what backstory is. Not being a writer, she’d never heard the term.

 I love it when that happens, and I can pontificate. 

 

The simple answer: Like reunions where we connect with our past and our present, backstory connects the story world and our character’s past.

Writers understand what I mean. Readers still might need more explaining. 

According to David Morrell, NYT bestselling author of high action thrillers, all stories have two parts: backstory and front story. 

Front story covers the scenes on the page that are happening in the present and pressing forward. 

Backstory reflects the influences from the past, and a character’s past is the key to creating a story where motivation and stakes are credible.

 NOTE to any aspiring writers: You should have Morrell’s The Successful Novelist: A Lifetime of Lessons about Writing and Publishing on your craft bookshelf. Check it out here.

Now back to my explanation…

Backstory is made up of all the data of a character’s history. How he became who he is, and why he acts as he does and thinks as he thinks. It also reveals influences of an era, family history, and world events (such as wars) that affect the story and its inhabitants.

 Factors writers consider as they create characters include:

  •  Major childhood influences, traumas, events, and emotional wounds
  • Family birth order
  • Era and/or historical period/events that influenced him
  • Significant people in a character’s circle. If dead, how did he relate?

 USA bestselling author Pat Kay teaches that once a writer defines those factors, the next step in character development is to ask  questions like theseto dig deeper.

  1.  Who was the most significant person in his childhood?
  2. Which past relationship most influenced him?
  3. How did his last relationship end?
  4. Is his occupation what his parents or family hoped he would pursue?
  5. What happened in his past that will affect the plot?
  6. What regrets does a character have?
  7. What is his worst fear?
  8. What is the darkest secret or shame from his past?
  9. Which events from the past still influence him?
  10. What emotions will a character feel/display/hide when under pressure?
  11. What is a character’s central strength?
  12. What does a character want to change about himself?
  13. What are a character’s long-range goals?
  14. What one thing will a character NOT do?

I could go on and on with questions to ask about a character, but you get the picture. If you look at yourself and others in your family and think of their background, you will see that everyone is influenced by past experiences and way of life.

 Same is true of a story character. Writers employ various techniques to know their characters deeply. The more fully developed a character’s past the more three-dimensional characters appear on the page.

 Make sense, readers?

Writers, what techniques do you use to fashion your story’s characters?

5 03, 2012

COLLOQUIALISMS and WEASEL WORDS

By |2012-03-05T09:00:29-06:00March 5th, 2012|Uncategorized|6 Comments

 When I shared a recent chapter with my critique partners, one of them called me for this sentence, “He found himself in deep water.”

 She didn’t understand that my POV character’s internal thought meant he found himself in trouble. She thought I put him in a swimming pool and forgot to put that detail on the page. Another problem I have… getting what’s playing in my head accurately portrayed on the page. But that’s a topic for another blog.

Her stumbling over the phrase led to a discussion of colloquial language and how words, phrases, and even clichés vary from one geographical area to another.

 Being from Texas, we have a whole slew of regional words. I just used another one—slew, meaning a whole bunch. We’re always y’all-ing and gonna and fixin’ when we talk. Foreigners sometimes need an interpreter. Consider these colloquial phrases I’ve been known to use verbally and in my writing:

  •  hot as tin toilet seat – in Texas we know that’s HOT
  • screaming bloody murder or  screaming banshee– used to stop the  pleasant sound coming from a kid or grandkid
  • grumpy as an old sitting hen – gives a more vivid image than grumpy old men
  • bone tired – yep, been there
  • slow as molasses – can’t you just see that black syrup oozing out of the jar?
  • keep your pants on – meaning not what you think, but to be patient!

 Besides colloquialisms that slip into my first drafts, I have “favorite” words that pop up when I’m being lazy with my writing or rushing. Words like: had, that, could, was, felt, knew, thought, saw, walked, come.

“Weasel words”  Margie Lawson,  editing guru, calls these words and colloquial phrases. I learned in her deep editing class, The EDITS System, to keep a WEASEL WORD CHART listing phrases, overused word, throw-away words, clichés and opinion words. The chart is easy to populate. The words we overuse stand out like sore thumbs. (Sorry, Margie had to use a cliché to make my point.)

Then, during the revision stages, I use the chart with my word processor’s search and replace function to eliminate them.

BUT sometimes using colloquial language fits characterization. Sometimes it has a function in dialogue especially if the protagonist is a Texan or the piece is written about Texas.

 Throwing such informal colloquialism into novel narrative, on the other hand, can be a stumbling block for readers by pulling them from the story. And, then they do what no writer wants—quit reading!

If using colloquialisms is your writer’s voice, okay. I caution you to be sure your reader can understand from the scene context what you’re saying.

 REMEMBER: Our writer’s responsibility is to always make sure in the battle of words that story reigns.

 What did I do with my CP’s suggestion? Eliminate the phrase or not?

 In this case, I believed the reader could discern the meaning from the rest of the scene and left the phrase “deep water.”

Your turn:

What are your favorite colloquialisms and weasel words? Do they slip into your writing?

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